Oh god, I am still laughing after having read this brilliant list of 101 Great Computer Programming Quotes I found on DotNetKicks.
Here are some of my favorites, although I would recommend the whole list to anyone with some spare time!
- “Saying that Java is nice because it works on all OSes is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on all genders.”
(Alanna) - “Computers are like bikinis. They save people a lot of guesswork.”
(Sam Ewing) - “Programming is like sex: one mistake and you’re providing support for a lifetime.”
(Michael Sinz) - “Programmers are in a race with the Universe to create bigger and better idiot-proof programs, while the Universe is trying to create bigger and better idiots. So far the Universe is winning.”
(Rich Cook) - “It’s ridiculous to live 100 years and only be able to remember 30 million bytes. You know, less than a compact disc. The human condition is really becoming more obsolete every minute.”
(Marvin Minsky) - “Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.”
(Jeff Pesis) - “I’ve finally learned what ‘upward compatible’ means. It means we get to keep all our old mistakes.”
(Dennie van Tassel) - “There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don’t believe this to be a coincidence.”
(Jeremy S. Anderson) - “There are two ways of constructing a software design. One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies. And the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies.”
(C.A.R. Hoare) - “Software suppliers are trying to make their software packages more ‘user-friendly’… Their best approach so far has been to take all the old brochures and stamp the words ‘user-friendly’ on the cover.”
(Bill Gates) - “There’s an old story about the person who wished his computer were as easy to use as his telephone. That wish has come true, since I no longer know how to use my telephone.”
(Bjarne Stroustrup) - “The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should therefore be regarded as a criminal offense.”
(E.W. Dijkstra) - “There is no programming language–no matter how structured–that will prevent programmers from making bad programs.”
(Larry Flon)